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OFFICIAL STATS
Bicep size: 1 bus
Protein: 47 eggs a day
Controller broken: 12
Goals: 9,000
Speed: supersonic
Opponents crying: all of them
Creepers defeated: 3,412
Diamonds: too many
Sleep: optional
Distance: 5km (bouncy)
Beat Dad: allegedly
Face pulled: elite
Medal bitten: yes
Is it real gold: he checked
Humble: no